Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Worst Games Ever

Simulator games are pretty awesome, the creativity, the freedom, but one company in-particular -"Excalibur Publishing"- has pushed it and their amazing and highly innovative games will have anyone at the edge of their seats, no joke these are some of the best simulators that everyone would kill to experience and the prices are worth it compared to the vast amount you can do in the game.No but seriously, if you ever found this in somebodies house it's a sign that you should leave, almost instantly.

Airport Firefighter Simulator

Price: 
£24.99 (who would even pay that)

Description:
"Nowhere are the dangers more apparent than in a modern airport where thousands of travellers are in close proximity to highly flammable aviation fuel and hazardous materials. The risks are great and so are the demands on the elite squad of airport firefighters!"

Breakdown: 
The opening description seems like a dramatic failure at reeling in the audiences attention. How many fires would happen in an airport anyways? It doesn't appear on the news often, does it?, this must be the worst airport in the world. Either that or there is an arsonist near the airport that police haven't been bothered to track down.


Bridge Project, The

Price:
£19.99

Description:
"Build a bridge .... and get over it! The Bridge Project is the successor to the original and award-winning bridge Bridge Builder simulation, all amateur designers and structural engineers finally have a new challenge on their PC."

Breakdown:
Let me get this straight, this type of game has already won an award?, okay you simple build a bridge, watch people use it, move to another place, build another bridge and so on, simple ... simply boring.


Digger Simulator

Price:
£24.99

Description:
"Dig for pay dirt and form your own civil engineering company. You will be starting modestly with small wheel loaders but success is in the soil! As your skills and reputation increase grow your business with the purchase of a huge selection of equipment including the heavy road roller!"

Breakdown:
Want to dig a hole?, No?, of course not you have a life, we all do, why spend your time sitting in front of a screen controlling a digger to make a hole when you could be doing something, anything is better (apart from more Excalibur Publishing games).



Garbage Truck Simulator

Price:
£24.99

Description:
"In Garbage Truck Simulator 2011 you run a business collecting the rubbish of a large European town. Start with a small garbage truck and grow your business. Dive into the cab of your truck and become the driver and take your colleague quickly but safely to the collection area, of course pay attention to the road traffic regulations! "

Breakdown:
Is anybody getting excited to play this from reading that?, if yes then leave, just leave. Why would anybody pay such a staggering price just to do two things, drive to next bin, empty it, rinse and repeat for eternity, I mean come on who in their right mind would find this appealing?


Street Cleaning Simulator

Price:
£24.99 (that is a bargain, their practically giving it away)

Description:
"Brush off the dirt and make a clean sweep as you embark on a career to become an accomplished street cleaner. Use your highly detailed sweeping machines to roam the city in search of muck. As your experience grows so will the tasks you have to deal with! Get swept up into fighting the flotsam and jetsam of city life with Street Cleaning Simulator! "

Breakdown:
Simulators are often designed to be based on one, task, goal, job, etc but a job like street cleaning being a game .. really?, who would buy that?, who would play that?, what entertainment would you get out of it?, So drive around the streets and get cleaning, cause that's all you'll do.

Rather than destroy your very being I will only list a few other "great" games of theirs, I won't really need to describe them as you'll know how pointless they are:

Crane Simulator
Forklift Truck Simulator
Garden Simulator
Oil Platform Simulator
Ports (take creates off a ship and put it into a truck -£29.99- WHAT!!!)
Road Construction Simulator
Tow Truck Simulator
Traffic Management


1 comment:

  1. Flight Simulator is suberb though

    ReplyDelete

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